I just ate a pickle and remembered...

at 12 years old I stepped out of the shower and went into my room. I was then on my waterbed in the towel, leaning over, back exposed when Gretchen got me with a pickle. She bit off half of that sucker and rubbed the slimy part down my bare back. I got so pissed and hopped up to run to the bathroom and give myself another quick dip in the tub. When I got into the bathroom I slipped on some water and busted my tail end.

Gretchen was a weirdo neighbor friend of mine. Once we were walking through the woods and we found a dead calf. The calf looked pregnant. Gretchen stepped on its leg and it's whole body moved. Then Gretchen broke down sobbing.

The other night I dreamed that Gretchen was in my bed pregnant. I had brought her home from a party. She died in her sleep. When I woke up and found her dead I didn't want to tell anyone so she was there untill she started to stink. I felt guilty that I didn't try to cut out the baby.

weird dreams lately...

Friday night I had a failed one night stand. I was so wasted and went to the pink around 2. I proceeded to get more wasted. Then I brought a young man home with me but he didn't fuck me. It was a frustrating experience. He's still interested in me but I don't think I have the patience or time for seducing a boy who I can't see myself with for a long duration.

On Saturday I'm going to be inviting everyone into my bed at the lenox. I'll be in the bed watching a video of myself alone and pathetically drunk and lonely. I'll invite people to come into the bed with me, get drunk, watch the video and talk. I'm trying to reverse the recorded situation through interaction with people. I wonder if I'll still feel so pathetic if I manage to get 10 people in the bed. If anyone wants to go to that event (IMK maybe) it's a better idea to go by rust belt books before hand for a ticket, that way it's 12 dollars rather than 15.

Other than that I'm starting to freak out about my thesis. Will I actually be able to pull it off? Paul how did you do it? Have you finished up? It seems like the media study department is the hotel california of graduate schools. It must be my fault if I feel so completly lost.